Whether it’s the annoying bumper-to-bumper traffic, the unforgiving weather or an annoying colleague at work - we have a lot of things to complain about. And the surprising part is that we might not even notice when we’re actually doing it.
Complaining is a natural human reaction when something annoys a person or when a person is dissatisfied with something or someone. Be it a bothersome petty issue or a serious concern, a person complains because they express their discontent and may even convey their fears. Although at times it serves as a venting mechanism, or even as a problem-solving tool, regular complaining serves only to enforce negative thinking and impact overall well-being. Knowing the reasons behind complaints and how they impact us actually can help one to manage this behaviour successfully.
Why do we complain?
Everyone has their own reasons when it comes to complaining. While some aren’t actually trying to sound pessimistic, others do it for reasons ranging from psychological to emotional.
- Validation
People may complain for validation to try to get approval, acknowledgement, or affirmation from others. Known as validation-seeking behaviour, this can be a way to boost self-esteem or your sense of worth.
- Force of habit
Like it or not, some people complain out of habit. With the tendency of focusing on negative aspects, we ignore the good aspects around us. This makes us normalise ‘complaining’ and leads into a habitual part of our behaviour.
- Desire for change
Complaints can serve as indicative or a sign of the need for change with regard to a given situation. It is an expression of discontent and at times the means of others' influence or change. This type of complaining is typically fueled by strong beliefs and a need or change.
- Shifting responsibility
Most of the time, complaining is a shifting of responsibility or getting rid of the guilt by pushing it onto external factors and shifting focus.
Is complaining always bad?
Not all complaining is bad; it's the way that it is done. Constructive complaining will allow much-needed changes to be made by way of addressing issues and problem-solving. It also offers an emotional release by reducing stress. Excessive or habitual complaining, without seeking solutions, promotes negativity, impacts mental health, and strains relationships. The key is balance; while getting something off of your chest or processing your feelings can be helpful, relentless negativity can ruin you as well as others.
How to know if you complain too much
Without realising when it all started, you might have become too much of a complainer. Though it’s healthy when done in moderation, here are signs that you may be complaining too much:
- You carry on and on about negative things, never finding solutions
- You usually dwell on past events
- You regret and wish things could have gone otherwise
- You always feel anxious
- You are always irritated after complaining
- You complain about things that you would not like to change
Complaining can also be a characteristic of depression, especially when it is associated with the following symptoms: sadness, emptiness, loss of interest, or sleep problems. If you complain too much, your immune system can be severely weakened and increase your risk of contracting diseases such as high cholesterol, diabetes, heart diseases, and obesity.
Tips to help you complain less often from RightLife
RightLife's ThinkRight program offers practical tips to help you complain less often. Through sections like Journaling, Affirmations and Meditation, you’ll learn to have a positive mindset.
Complaining can become a real habit, and there are ways to begin making that shift. Here are some strategies to help you complain less often:
- Practice gratitude
One of the most powerful ways to stop complaining is by having a focus on what you are grateful for. Gratitude refocuses your attention on what's right instead of what is wrong. Begin by keeping a daily gratitude journal in which you write at least three things you're thankful for. This practice will develop positive thinking over time and therefore be easier to focus on the good rather than the bad.
- Do not expose yourself to negativity
The more negative an environment you are exposed to, the more you have to complain about. Set limits on the negative impact you let into your life from people or news or social media posts that bring you down. If you surround yourself with positivity, it will become so much easier to shift your mindset.
- Positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are statements that allow a person to open up to positive thoughts and self-beliefs. ThinkRight’s positive affirmations help you complain less by helping you see the good in things. Over time, these affirmations help you to develop a habit of seeking the positive aspect in any situation that will help you to overcome any problem that comes your way with a constructive attitude instead of getting into the cycle of negativity and complaining.
- Meditation
Meditation will help you cultivate a calmer, more centred mind that's less reactive to life's challenges. Even just a few minutes of meditation each day will make one less stressed and more able to cope with frustrations without falling into the habit of complaining. You can do mindfulness meditation, loving-kindness meditation, or guided meditations on positivity.
- Journaling
Journaling is a great way to process your thoughts and emotions. Instead of complaining about them to someone else, jot down those frustrations in a journal. The ThinkRight program provides the Journaling feature which allows you to vent your emotions in a more productive way. Over time, you may start to find patterns of what you're complaining about, and that will tell you something about where in your life things need change or attention brought to them. Also, pairing it with a gratitude journal can create a balanced perspective.
- Practice doing things you enjoy
Doing things that make you happy will make you complain less organically. When you're engaged in something that you love, most of your concentration is not on the negatives in your life. It may be a hobby, exercise, or just hanging out with your loved ones, but find ways to add more joy into your life.
It takes time, mindfulness, effort, and perspective to get rid of a complaining habit. Practices such as positive affirmations, journaling and meditation can train the mind to focus on the brighter side of things which results in more happiness and well-being. You will realise that over time, with practice, you are complaining less and appreciating life more.These practices will help you shift your mindset from one of negativity to positivism and growth. Join RightLife today if you need to change your mindset about complaining, reduce grumbling, and finally start living full and optimistic.
